Here I sit, having almost completed my first year of grad school. It's been really difficult, and I feel pretty miserable. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and that I'm not really moving forward. I feel like thus far this process has been a waste of my time as well as others'. I feel like nothing beneficial is going to come out of it. I feel unsure of my abilities as a student and as a person in order to be successful.
I feel extremely worried that my long-term, long-distance relationship is going to be stagnant or break. I feel worried that I'm going to lose the love of my life because I question his faith, and while I'm trying to understand and learn, I feel like I'm never going to be at the point at which he needs me to be.
I feel insensitive, for some of the thoughts that go through my head. I feel horrible, knowing that my problems are minimal compared to many others' in the world, but still feeling the way I do. I feel like I'm not going to get anywhere in life and that I don't deserve to have happiness a family of my own. I feel unhappy and desperate and tired. I feel bad and alone.
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Sunday, April 20, 2014
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